In recent years, infidelity has begun root in new ways, due to the advent and growth of the Internet and the entry of women into professions once dominated by men. Many experts are noticing that both in the workplace and on the Internet, “a new crisis of infidelity” is unfolding. The new type of infidelity involves people who do not seek out extramarital affairs, but are unintentionally moving beyond platonic friendships to romantic involvements.
Maheu and Subotnik (2001) explain that the Internet provides an escape in the form of cybersex and so-called “virtual infidelity” to millions of people who do not know how to improve their difficult or unsatisfying relationships or whose religious beliefs do not permit divorce. “They may find themselves financially, geographically or emotionally stuck. Whatever their reasons, they seem to be hungering for easy access to companionship and sex” (p. 7-8).
The Internet has made it fast and easy to find and connect with others, and it's the ideal medium for secretive relationships. For those who seek it, infidelity is just a few clicks away.
“Cyber-infidelity occurs when a partner in a committed relationship uses the computer or the Internet to violate promises, vows or agreements concerning his or her sexual exclusivity” (Maheu and Subotnik, 2001, p. 10).
Though cyber-infidelity is receiving more attention, Glass believes that the truly fertile ground for dangerous emotional attachments outside marriages is much more conventional: the workplace. According to Glass, the workplace has become a dangerous breeding ground for infidelity (Peterson, 2003).
Peterson (2003) explains that with employees working closely together for longer hours, close bonds form and temptations arise. Thus, infidelity in the workplace often takes place between well-intentioned people, peers who are happily married.
Glass highlights the following three key characteristics of a relationship that crosses the line from harmless platonic friendship to deeper emotional attachment and infidelty: “1) greater emotional intimacy than in the marital relationship, 2) secrecy and deception from the spouse, and 3) sexual chemistry.”
Extramarital involvements based on a deep emotional bond can be as painful for the betrayed spouse as a sexual infidelity. However, experts generally agree that affairs that include both extramarital infidelity and a meaningful emotional bond are the most disruptive.